I believe it was last week when I said a lot of great things happened and I'm writing a letter to home about it. (still working on that letter) well last Monday after dinner my joy and humility reached a whole new level that later brought me anxiety hahaha:)
There is this great couple in the branch. He served a faithful mission, and she has always had a desire to be sealed in a temple. Unfortunately life gets hard and they were attacked. Both of them have been through hell and back. Then, they both somehow ended up in Tulsa right when both are making the effort to find their way back. they of course fell in love and are aiming for the temple. I met him my first night here almost 4 months ago. He intimidated me. And he knows it:)
Time goes by and we develop a relationship, all 4 of us. We reach out to them, but they both weren't ready to make those changes. We became great friends regardless, and we knew that when they are ready for more, they would ask. I honestly never thought my testimony or Sister Rishs testimony would ever get to them. No matter how hard we prayed or fasted or searched we fear that our love and devoutness to them just wasn't enough because it was not the right time . Last Monday, (Sister Friel with me now) after dinner (they always took us out), She (the girlfriend) turned to us and said that they both would like to meet with us at least once a week and take the missionary discussions. They were tired of being angry and confused and they felt that we were the missionaries to help them. They spoke highly of us, but all I could do was hold back the joyful tears.
It was at that moment when I felt the truth and plea from Alma 31:35. That night I felt the truth in Mosiah 28: 3 And it wasn't just for them, but for many many people that I've watched and listened to and occasionally spoken to, plus all those that I have not met yet. (I'm crying now as I ponder this)
I really do not think I could write all in one email all these emotions and feelings and thoughts racing through my mind.
I feel very very inadequate to be out here. I have lots of fears, and weaknesses, and struggles of my own. I tell myself, They need someone who is perfect. someone who understands them. I don't understand the alcoholic, the porn addict, the abused child. I don't understand the runaway, or the fearful one. They need someone that can help them change, that can show them the better way and be there for them 100% because I can't. I'm temporary.
And that is the most beautiful thing about this Gospel. There is someone. He lives. He is the Savior. and He knows His Sheep. Jesus Christ is perfect, he does no man or woman or child wrong. He forgives, he forgets, his love is infinite and unconditional. He understands individuals, and he understands you and me. That is what I share with people. My testimony, of My Savior, of His Church for His sheep. That's all of us. I'm so grateful for a Savior, because as I have witnessed many struggle and those that live through bitterness, I know that, that doesn't have to last forever. That God has provided a way for them to escape that, and that way is through Jesus Christ (I pray this is making sense). So grateful, as well, that our Heavenly Father and Lord, Jesus Christ, will use other people to show their love and their power. Just as he did with Sister Rish, Sister Friel, and I to help the couple in the branch. The spirit is working on them. and we pray daily that we may have that spirit with us, so that their hearts can be turned to Christ. Because that is how true happiness comes about.
I don't have much time, but that is my testimony to you all. Don't give up. Your Father would never give up on you, and your Savior calls for you. You are precious. No matter how unworthy you feel. I love my Savior, and I am grateful for this mission.
In His Sacred Name, Jesus Christ, Amen
I feel the need to add this as well,
Struggles and Happiness can live together. If you are struggling, it does not mean that you are unworthy of happiness.